2022 Alabama football season predictions

This Saturday will mark six weeks until the first college football games of the season on Aug. 27. While coaches are still watching tape and players are still in the weight room, we have all the data points we need to make totally serious predictions. Join us below for an educated forecast of Alabama’s 2022 college football season.

WEEK 1: UTAH STATE AGGIES (Tuscaloosa)
We kick off Alabama’s season Sept. 3 when the Tide hosts the Utah State Aggies. Let’s not spill anymore ink on this game than we already have. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 52-7 and fans complain about the running game not being established enough.

WEEK 2: TEXAS LONGHORNS (Austin, Texas)
Assuming both teams are healthy, this is a tossup. Despite returning zero receivers not named Cameron Latu, Alabama still has the personnel to win the game. It won’t be fun for Tide fans, but it will answer questions. Does the offense miss a step? Is the defense back to the traditional smothering squads of the past? PREDICTION: Alabama wins a close, high-scoring game or in a gentleman’s 24-3 score. Somehow, it will still be reported that Texas is “back”. 

WEEK 3: UL-MONROE WARHAWKS (Tuscaloosa)
Anything can happen any given Saturday. The biggest news out of this game will be an Alabama punt returned for a touchdown by ULM, which will feel more annoying than winning the game feels good. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 63-7, but does it matter if you let a Sun Belt team score?

WEEK 4: VANDERBILT COMMODORES (Tuscaloosa)
It’s easy to feel bad for Vanderbilt until you remember that time you traveled to Nashville for the Alabama game and realized Commodore fans are the worst in the state. You read that right. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 45-6, but that one guy still “wants Bama”.

WEEK 5: ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS (Fayetteville, Ark.)
Arkansas has momentum and is playing with expectations. Sam Pittman is the right coach at the right time, but they just don’t have the players to compete against Alabama. Every game against the Razorbacks has the potential to turn out super weird, but Bama will prevail. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 35-14 to shock the world and improve to 5-0.

WEEK 6: TEXAS A&M AGGIES (Tuscaloosa)
Boy, Bryant-Denny will be bouncing on Oct. 8. After the Saban-Fisher dust-up, there will be a little bit more on the line after A&M besting Bama last year. Drama will be everywhere except for on the field. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 42-35 in a much more boring game than the score would reflect.

WEEK 7: TENNESSEE VOLUNTEERS (Knoxville, Tenn.)
It has literally been 5,744 days since Tennessee last beat Alabama. Tennessee hasn’t beat Alabama in so long, no one’s ever had the chance to take a photo of the phenomenon with an iPhone. The Vols have bought into Coach Josh Heupel’s system and might have the personnel to compete. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 44-27 as Vols run out of gas in the fourth quarter.

WEEK 8: MISSISSIPPI STATE BULLDOGS (Tuscaloosa)
Mike Leach is a bad coach and Mississippi State is a bad team. I don’t think they care anymore. Assuming Mike Leach is still the coach and Dak Prescott doesn’t have any eligibility left, the Tide will roll big. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 52-10 and can we stop talking about Mike Leach yet?

WEEK 9: LSU TIGERS (Baton Rouge, La.)
LSU fan hype is higher than it’s been since the last time they hired a head coach. Brian Kelly is still trying to stock the cupboard after LSU’s disastrous past two offseasons. If Kelly couldn’t beat Alabama with talented Notre Dame teams, it probably won’t happen this year either. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 27-10 and Brian Kelly worries his accent is the problem.

WEEK 10: MISSISSIPPI REBELS (Oxford, Miss.)
This is the one. This is where Alabama loses. Lane Kiffin came close last year but just wasn’t ready. Kiffin will put USC transfer Jaxson Dart under center and, with his unproven quarterback, he’ll be forced to actually coach his team. And it’ll go well for him. Not for Alabama. PREDICTION: Ole Miss wins 55-49 in a game where Alabama could’ve forced overtime had it not missed two field goals.

WEEK 11: AUSTIN PEAY GOVERNORS (Tuscaloosa)
God bless a game that kicks off at 11am. That’s all. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 49-0 without scoring in the second half.

WEEK 12: AUBURN TIGERS (Tuscaloosa)
We’d like to say this will be a nice, tight game that showcases top notch talent in moments of athletic heroism, but it won’t be. This game is trash and garbage. Honestly, the competitiveness of this game falls on how well Auburn coach Bryan Harsin pulls it all together after a tough offseason. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 24-12 in a game that is not worth watching to end the regular season at 11-1. 

POST SEASON LIGHTNING ROUND
If Alabama goes 11-1, which we have definitely correctly predicted above, they will likely play Georgia in the SEC Championship. Georgia lost a record number of players to the draft and probably won’t beat Alabama twice in a row. We’re flipping a coin and it lands in Alabama’s favor. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 21-20 just so we can talk about what might happen in the playoffs.

Assuming Alabama doesn’t draw Ohio State in the college playoff semifinals, they’ll likely coast over a team who lucked into the playoffs such as USC. Don’t laugh. It could happen. PREDICTION: Alabama wins 35-10 over [insert team here].

If Alabama makes it to the championship, they will undoubtedly run into the buzzsaw that is Ohio State. The Buckeyes will take an early lead, which is all inevitable Heisman winner CJ Stroud will need to keep OSU ahead and win the title. PREDICTION: Ohio State wins 45-34 and there will be no joy in Mudville.

What did we get wrong? Let us know on Twitter or Instagram, and take a listen below to this week’s episode of Throw the Flag.